Why me?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I can never come out good in a picture. I have tried so hard to smile and when I think I am smiling then I see the picture and I look sad. I’m tired that I can’t smile. My friends wanted to take pictures of me but I can’t. I don’t know how to smile. My teeth are crooked; they don’t help me at all. My eyes are too big and look sad.

It really frustrates me sometimes that I have my teeth like this; it’s like what have I done for this to happen to me. At night sometimes I cry or every time I’m getting ready I see myself in the mirror and get depressed. On some occasions I say to myself, “what’s the point?” I mean I pick out my best clothes do my hair nicely and then I see my smile and I lose that motivation.

They tell me that I have my uncles’ eyes. They look sad and I want to look happy but it’s hard. I have to force my eyes to be open. In school they always tell me what’s wrong, why am I sad or if I’m ok , and I tell them that I’m fine nothing is wrong with me.

I see my friends and other girls that have this pretty smile and they look happy and I want to be like that. People don’t understand how I feel. They tell me not to care but I can’t help it. I look ugly. In effect I always wonder what I did to have this. I can’t eat an apple because of my teeth. I can’t eat a corn in a cup (the roll of corn) because I can’t eat it properly. You know your suppose to leave your teech looking white. Well I can’t.  I can’t kiss my little sister all of a sudden because sometimes I bruise her on her forehead. I leave my two front teeth marks on her forehead.

I wouldn’t mind having my teeth crooked but if they were in their proper place. My teeth literally form a triangle. All I want is to smile again. I want to laugh freely without putting my hand over my mouth.

Now that I have let it all out I feel much better I have been holding on to this feeling for as long as I can remember.